Reflections of an Introverted Extrovert

I'm what I like to consider and introverted extrovert.  

I love being around people.  I love talking with people, learning their stories, sharing stories.  I have no problem speaking in front of big groups of people, although I'm not one to claim the spotlight if I don't have to.  If I had to choose I would definitely prefer getting to know people in a small group setting.  Two or three at a time, as compared to a room full of people that I don't know and have to socialize with.  That's a nightmare to me.

On the other hand, I need time to myself. I need moments in my day on my own. If I'm really busy for extended periods of time I need a moment to process and unwind in a quiet place.

Introverted extrovert.

Well the past couple of weeks have been wildly busy.  A lot has taken place that made me stop and take a couple of days off.  Time to process, think, and rest. I just needed some time.

And here is the result of my introverted 48 hours.

A couple of weeks ago I was out with the kids in the red light, and we were playing - as we do. We sat in front of a shop that was closed, just on the sidewalk out front.  We had been meeting there four or five times a week for three months. That day I had several kids along with their parents.  We were playing games, and laughing.  It was around 10pm and someone made a joke, or did something that made everyone laugh really loud.  The shop next door was open until 10:30 and the shop owner came out and asked us to be quiet, because people were sleeping upstairs.  We said ok, but more kids and more people kept coming.  By 10:15 the shop owner came back out and told us we couldn't come back.

After three months with no complaints, we had been kicked out of our meeting spot.

This left me in a bit of a pickle... I had all of these kids that I had finally connected with and no place to meet with them.  

For the past several weeks I've been trying to figure out what to do about this.  Last week I just met the kids around the bars, and I would take them across the street for dinner, and then they would usually ask if we could go over to the bars and play pool.

This is where the ministry I'm in is much different than it would ever be at home.  I got to know these kids by sitting on the street with snacks and games.  As they walked by I would say, "Dek dek, Sawat di Kha! Ow, mai kha?" As I held up some candy.  Translation: "Hi kids, want some candy!"  

At home that's what we would call a creeper.

Two weeks ago I was talking with a friend and said, "The other day when I was playing pool with the kids at the bar..." Once again.  At home, considered a creeper statement.

Double creeper.

But here - it's normal. It's ok.  It's the way I'm reaching out to these kids.

But my heart is to see these kids OUT of that environment.  I don't want the 8 and 11 year old kids I'm working with to grow up in the bars anymore.  They shouldn't have to be growing up in this dark environment.  As I began to figure out what I needed to do I've been wondering if I would be best serving the kids if I tried to find a spot to work with them, or connect them with a ministry that already exists.

As I began to research I found that in a city with literally hundreds of people living and reaching out to people in trafficking there is not one place for kids to go and be taken care of after 8pm.

Not one place for kids who don't need to be in forced labor to go during the hours when they are forced to be working.  No where. 

So for today I'm going to ask that you all pray with me.  Pray with me to figure out what needs to be done.  And if you feel like God is telling you something message me on Facebook.  Email me at kristenwilkes.design@gmail.com  If you feel like God is telling you something - act on it, don't sit with it.  As my good friend Emmi, who started Lighthouse in Action, always says: "Vision Without Action in a Dead Dream".  

Furthermore in my time of processing I've come to realize something.  I can't save everyone.  So much of me feels like if God tells me that I've learned what I need to for my next season, and it's time to go home that I will leave here having failed.  Failed because I didn't save people.

I don't really know how to end this blog, because I still feel like I'm processing, but all I know is that if I stay here I need help. Practically, this isn't something I can do by myself.  So... if it's supposed to happen it will happen I guess.