Where's Waldo: Thai Style

This week was a great week with the kids.  One night I was out and saw one of the boys that I work with for the first time in over a week.  Of the kids that I work with, he's one that I really look out for. When I first met him he wore the same outfit everyday and didn't always have shoes.  We were able to provide new clothes and shoes for him during Project: Christmas Warmth. I know that his home life is extremely difficult, and basic needs are not always met for him.  Two weeks ago when I saw him he didn't have shoes again.  I asked him what happened and he just kept telling me he didn't have shoes anymore.  He asked if I would get him flip flops, and I promised I would.  I carried flip flops everyday for a week and would go out looking for him at night, but couldn't find him.  So when I saw him last week I was overjoyed - until I realized I forgot his shoes at home.

He had brought a friend with him and asked if I would buy shoes for him as well.   I had seen this kid frequently around the city selling flowers, but had never been able to connect with him.  I agreed to buy him shoes, and he made me pinky promise that I would bring both of their shoes the following night.

I pinky promised three times, and you can't break a pinky promise.

As I was driving home that night I realized that these kids really trust me. They're bringing their friends to me who are in need, because they know that I'll follow through.

I went home and got his flip flops hoping that I would be able to find him that night so he wouldn't have to go another day without shoes.   As I went back out I realized that my job here is like a giant game of Where's Waldo - except Waldo is disguised as a little kid selling flowers.  I drive all over the city looking for my kids selling flowers in bars and restaurants hoping that I will be able to find them and make sure they've been able to eat dinner.  And that they have things like shoes.  I didn't find Waldo that night - but knew with three pinky promises I would see him the next day.

The following night I sat waiting for the kids with two new pair of shoes.  First I saw the new kid.  I gave him his shoes, and he thanked me with a huge grin on his face.  He went to find my other kid and he came back and sat next to me, looked up and asked if I had his shoes.  I said yes, and handed them to him and he put them on with a huge smile.  They fit perfectly, and he didn't have to walk around with no shoes anymore.

We played games for hours that night.  Checkers. Angry birds. We drew, and read books... When it was time for them to go we said goodbye and walked down the street.  We saw the sister of one of the kids and I asked if she had eaten dinner.  She said no, only candy.  So I was able to buy her and her brother dinner.  On our way back to the bike I saw two more of my kids.  We talked for a minute and laughed, and then I drove home.

These kids are what makes it worth it.  Playing Where's Waldo can be frustrating day after day. And exhausting. But when I find them sitting at a booth in a restaurant resting,  riding a bike along the moat, or walking by the boxing ring - it's always worth it.  Even if it takes me days of searching for them, it's always worth it.

Merriest of Christmas'

I’m sitting on my couch just before 6am on Christmas Eve.  It’s still dark outside, and I can hear the roosters crowing behind the house. There is no snow.  We had to search for several days to find candy canes.  I can hear a gecko chirping on the porch, and smell incense burning in a buddhist spirit house next door.

Christmas in Thailand is quite different from Christmas at home.

I’ve been challenged this week to think; Why do I celebrate Christmas?  It doesn’t really feel like the Christmas season here.  No ugly Christmas sweater parties, or cookie exchanges.  No pictures with Santa, or candlelight services.  No Christmas lights, or snowfall.  I FaceTimed with my family when they got together for Christmas - my grandparents, mom, 7 aunts and uncles, and 8 cousins. I waved, said hi, and couldn’t join in on many of the other festivities for the day. But none of that REALLY has anything to do with Christmas.  It’s great to have pretty decorations and get together with family and friends - but celebrating Christmas is much more than that.

Christmas at home is my favorite time of the year.  Not so much because of all of the parties - I just love the atmosphere. I love snow, and cold weather, and how everything seems to sparkle.  Snow in the sunlight, Christmas trees, and lights as you drive at night.  It seems cliche - but people really are nicer around the holidays.  There’s just a spirit of giving and joy.  

I’ve spent a lot of time this week thinking about Christmas. It’s about celebrating the birth of Jesus.  The birth of our literal savior.  The one who left heaven -  and came to a place full of sin so that He could save each of us.  His life here on earth was a complete sacrifice.  But He willingly died on the cross so that we could have a relationship with God, and our sin would be forgiven.

Thinking through that has given me renewed perspective working with the kids.  I’ve had a much more thankful spirit, because I realize that I know Jesus. I’m not only thankful that I know Him, but that I have the chance to display characteristics of Him to these kids. It’s not just about making them smile, that’s just a perk :) 

This Christmas, I think more than ever, what I’m most looking forward to is celebrating with a truly thankful heart the sacrifice that Jesus made by coming to earth.  Celebrating the obedience and open hearts of Mary and Joseph, and taking time to acknowledge what Jesus really did for us. There may not be snow, or a myriad of Christmas cookies... And I really miss my friends and family - but that doesn’t take the joy out of Christmas.

I was talking to my roommate the other day, recounting the events of the week.  Both of us were laughing to the point of tears at the irony.  As I was driving home from a friends Christmas party on Saturday I couldn’t help but laugh to myself.  My bike had a flat tire, I had lice,  and a head cold.  Merry Christmas!  

But the best part was - I didn’t really care.  There was not part of me that was in a bad mood.  I wasn’t annoyed, or frustrated.  I was tired.... But not unhappy, and honestly think that it was because none of that could take away from what I knew I was really celebrating.  I feel like any one of those things individually could have ruined my day a few weeks ago.  But for now I’m just enjoying Christmas in Thailand, and EVERYTHING it brings my way ;)

Merry Christmas to you all!

Heartbreak and Hope

This week has been an enlightening week with the kids. When I say enlightening, I don’t mean easy.  Early in the week I went out to work with them, as I normally do.  It was the night before my good friend Bethsaida was heading back home to the US. She had spent the last year working with the kids as well so she came out to say her goodbyes before going home. Her and I both have names that are difficult for the kids to pronounce, to make it easier for them we just gave ourselves Thai names.  In Thai culture as a sign of respect, if you’re talking to someone older than you, you say ‘P’ before their name.  So the kids call Bethsaida P’Yim (Yim means smile) and they call me P’Joy. 

A girl came up whom I hadn’t met before, and she had no interest in sitting with me. “P’Yim... She here?” She asked me.
“Chay kha” (Yes) and I motioned down the street.  As she headed down the street, the mom who was there told me it was one of the kids sisters and I didn’t see her again the rest of the night.

After working with the kids a group of my friends got together and headed out to a favorite karaoke spot at a Mexican restaurant in the city.  In celebration of Bethsaida’s last night we were going to sing the night away.  A group of 8 of us met up at Loco Elvis (Yes. The Mexican restaurant in Thailand with karaoke is called Loco Elvis.  Doesn’t that automatically make it awesome?) We took karaoke by storm complete with backup dancers, and laughed through the night.  

The girls belting out Spice Girls 'Wannabe'

Bethsaida singing a Motown hit with her backup dancers aka myself, Lindsey, and Briggs.

A little after midnight we saw one of our kids come up to the table next us to sell flowers.  When the couple insisted they didn’t want flowers, our kid pulled condoms out of his pocket and tried to sell those instead.  

It was instant heart break seeing this little kid, whom I’ve grown to love, be out at such a late hour selling condoms to strangers.  He saw us after leaving that table and came and sat with us talking with Bethsaida before he left.  She looked at me as he walked away and said he told her the cat had stolen his shoe laces, and his sweatshirt was to big to wear - so despite Project:Christmas Warmth this little guy was still cold on the streets.  It was his sister who had come by me earlier as well.  She had found Bethsaida and asked if we would get her some long sleeve shirts and shoes.  It was fun being out with friends - but that encounter had, had an impact far deeper than laughing and singing with friends was going to fill in that moment.

The next day Bethsaida left for the US.  That was a goodbye that I really, really did not like.  I’m so grateful for the insight she gave me in working with the kids.  We’ve had a lot of fun the last few months laughing, eating awesome food, and laughing more. Watching her interact with the kids has been inspiring.  Seeing the depth of her heart and steadfast display of Jesus’ love for them.  Knowing that she came into working with these kids by herself, not knowing the language but just being committed... That gave me the confidence to keep going.  Being able to see how much each of the kids loves her.  Really, really loves her. For the first several weeks I was here, if Bethsaida wasn’t out with me - they had no interest in staying.  I’m so thankful that she was willing to go out with me and introduce me to the kids so that now that she’s gone I can continue the work that she was doing because of the awesome groundwork she laid.  

It makes my heart happy to know that my friend is following God and in a place that she really loves right now, and I am holding tightly to the fact that really it’s not about Bethsaida being here, or me being here... It’s about the kids experiencing God.  Bethsaida fulfilled the time God called her here to do that, and brought me in to continue it. Last night I realized that it’s going to be ok.  I miss my friend, but I can do this.   
Lately three of the four of us that live in my house have had trouble sleeping at night.  We don’t fall asleep until 3 or 4 in the morning a lot of the time.  So last night we figured if we can’t sleep - might as well dance.  While we were out dancing we saw one kid I work with in the slums who was selling flowers. I had never seen him out selling before, but he spent time with my friends and I.  My friend bought him dinner, and I was able to tell him that if he was selling flowers on Tuesday I would be there and we could study english, and read if he wanted.  That was a pretty big step for me - because I was able to explain that all in Thai without anyone translating for me.  He smiled and nodded that he understood.

An hour later I looked up to see the boy who had been in Loco Elvis with us.  Earlier last night I had found him and was able to give him the gift for his sister - a sweatshirt, shoes, tshirt, and backpack - and I was also able to get him a sweatshirt that fit, and shoelaces so he could wear his shoes.

Shortly after I saw his sister walk up in her sweatshirt.  
She got a huge grin on her face and said,
“You P’Joy right?”  I nodded my head and smiled. “P’Yim tell you?” She asked pointing at her new sweatshirt that she was wearing.  
“Chay (yes) kha” I answered “Chop may kha?” (Do you like it?)
“Chop (I like it)” she answered back smiling.  “You tell P’Yim thank you,” I assured her I would.
“Gin leaw may kha?” (Did you eat already?) She shook her head no.
“Ow gin may kha?” (Do you want food?) She smiled and nodded yes.

We got in line to get sandwiches and she asked if I would get one for her brother as well.  After she got their food she smiled and waved as she walked off.  On the way back to our bike my friend and I saw the kids eating their dinner.  The little boy walked up and said thank you for his sandwich and gave me a hug and then went back and sat down.  As much as my heart breaks each time I see them out - each one of those kids are worth it.  

Some days feel hopeless - like when you see a 9 year old kid selling condoms to strangers on the street.  It feels like there’s nothing you can do.  And some days there’s a realization that everything is going to be ok, because I’m not supposed to fix this entire problem myself.  I just need to display the love of Jesus.  And if I can do that by making sure these kids have warm clothes, making sure they eat dinner, and have a safe place to sit and play a few nights a week... It’s not hopeless.  

A huge thank you to Bethsaida for standing up for these kids when she saw the need.  For displaying the love of Jesus, and proving to each of these kids that there are people who love them and can be trusted.  For being Jesus in the lives of these kids even when it seemed hard, or hopeless. And for connecting me with them and being my friend before she going home. 

These kids are going to understand their worth, and that they are loved.  Jesus is always faithful to reveal Himself - and I’m willing to be the next in line to display his love for them in the red light.

It's a Heart Issue

Do you ever have those weeks that you feel you're learning more than you're accomplishing?  This last week and a half has been just that for me.  I feel as if I'm taking in far more than I am giving out - but being quite exhausted by it.  By taking in I mean, learning lessons.  And some of those lessons have been...

Hard.
Difficult.
Draining.
Heart Breaking.
Lessons.

I finally began to lay those lessons down on Sunday and just allow God to speak.  Not take anything on, just listening.  As He spoke, he was telling me a couple of things.  He was reminding me of what He had previously spoken through Isaiah 41 and also reminding me that He is enough.  As I thought through what He was telling me I was thinking about the difference between obedience, and willingness.  We can be obedient without being willing.  Willingness is a heart issue.

As I looked back at the last month and a half I saw that I walked out in obedience in what He was asking me to do here.  I went to work with kids when He asked me to work with kids.  I went to the cafe when He asked me to go to the cafe.  I talked when He asked me to talk.  I rested when He asked me to rest. But rarely was my heart willing.  I may have had moments of enjoyment, but few moments of joy.  As I thought about willingness I realized that there are going to be a lot of things that are going to effect my feelings here.  Things that I was going to see, and hear, and miss about home that may make me FEEL sad, or heavy, or... anything that wasn't joy. 

As I was reading this week I read Romans 12:1.  I've read Romans 12 several times, but I don't think that I've ever really noticed what the first sentence said.  "Love must be sincere".  And then I realized that sincerity and willingness go together.  When there's no willingness you can't be sincere.  But a true willingness - which I believe means surrendering our own motives and heart - creates sincerity. But even within that, if I don't feel willing... how do I love the people here? And then I remembered 1 John 4:8 "...God is love".  He doesn't display love.  He doesn't give love to us.  I mean - He does those things... But He IS love.  So really what do I have to do?

Surrender myself, my all of me - and let God love.

It's a heart issue.

Project: Christmas Warmth

The last couple of weeks here in Thailand have been busy.  A lot of changes, and transitions, and things happening.  

November 18 my friend, Lindsey arrived from Arkansas.  She will be living in Thailand with me until September.  It's so wonderful to have a friend here.  A person to laugh with, and work with, and adventure with.  Lindsey and I both worked with YWAM in Oxford, New Zealand.  I was in Oxford in 2006 and the beginning of 2007, Lindsey was there 2007-2009.  So although we've been in contact for 4 years, this is our first time working together.  It's been great and I'm excited she's here for the year!

We also had a World Race team living with us for the month of November.  The squad was split into smaller teams to work with the different ministries of Lighthouse in Action.  I had one girl who came out with me to the red light district a few nights a week to work with the kids.  Hannah and I would teach english, play games, and sing with the kids.  It was such a fun month! I was blessed to have a person working with me that was just as crazy, and fun as I am! And she connected with the kids so well!

This past month has been focused on connecting with the kids.  I have been told that last year in the red light district there were upwards of 20 kids that sold flowers in the streets every night.  The past month I've never seen more than 3 or 4 in one night.  Because of this we've gotten to connect with each kid much more.  We know what each of them like to do.  We've been able to work with them one on one and really get to know them.  This turned out to be a huge blessing as we prepared for Project: Christmas Warmth.

Project: Christmas Warmth was started in 2011 by my friend, Bethsaida.  She saw needs the kids had, and she prayed that God would provide to meet those needs - and He did! Nights in Thai winters get very cold - as cold as 30 degrees fahrenheit.  Many of the kids selling flowers in the street don't have warm clothes, or adequate shoes.  With donations from people at home we were able to raise enough money to bless each of the kids that we've been working with, with GOOD quality gifts.  For each of the kids we were able to get nice warm shoes, jeans, track pants, t-shirts, hoodies, backpacks, a toy, and for each kid something they enjoy.  Whether it was a book, sketchbooks, clay, crayons, notebooks - just something that they love.  

A couple of days ago we went to the red light to hand the gifts out to the kids.  They were so excited! Later in the night we saw one of the boys and he had already put on his new shoes.  He reminded us with a smile that we didn't get him socks, and asked if we would bring him some so his shoes wouldn't smell bad.

I have socks in my backpack to hand out tonight :)

If you would like to see the video we put together of Project: Christmas Warmth 2012 you may click here.

It was great to see that just by spending some quality time with each of the kids every week I've been able to connect with them and know each of their personalities.  And my Thai is getting a little better - I can even have simple conversations with them now :)

Thank you each for your encouragement, support, and willingness to stay connected! 

Seeking Perspective

I’m already entering week three of this giant adventure.  This last week has been more difficult than the previous. I was sick for several days with a head cold.  A head cold with vengeance... 48 hours of not getting out of bed, and close to a week of not leaving the house.  It left me feeling a bit disconnected from the work I have to do here.  Along with feeling disconnected from my work here, I was also feeling a bit disconnected from home.  The time difference along with not feeling well, and busy schedules made it difficult to connect with friends or family for several days.  I found myself in my house in Chiang Mai sick, lonely, and struggling to keep perspective.  

It’s moments like this it would be wonderful to say, “God squashed all discouragement I was feeling and I spent the week full of His joy.”  But instead I allowed myself to get in my head a bit.  If any of you watched the video I posted on my YouTube channel ‘Questions and Answers’, a friend of mine asked: 

“What is something you and God are still working on as you get ready to go.”

My Answer:

“Working on me trusting totally in Him, and not trying to think through everything in my head because thinking about what I’m doing can be really overwhelming and make me feel like I’m not ready.  But in the small moments when I DO trust totally in Him I know that it’s going to be ok... So just living completely in faith and not thinking to much about what I’m doing”

I’m still working on it.  This past week was a week I can learn from.  I tried to think to much through what I’m doing.  I tried to figure it out.  And do you know what trying to figure everything out accomplished?  Nothing.  It just caused me to feel anxiety.  Because I couldn’t figure it out!  And I couldn’t figure it out, because I’m realizing that God wants to work through this His own way  - which isn’t logical.  I want to understand the timing, and the finances, and the details.  

He wants me to listen to His still small voice and be obedient one step at a time.

It’s realizing that victory here looks different from victory at home.  It’s realizing that He didn’t ask me to sell everything I own to stay away for only a couple of months.  It’s realizing that He didn’t call me into a season of faith, so that He could see me struggle.  It’s realizing that He’s faithful, and if He’s asking me to living financially by faith that He’s going to provide.  It’s realizing that when things seem hard, I need to seek Him and not try to figure it out on my own.  It’s realizing that going to the market and have a short simple conversation in Thai, and bringing food back home is successful. It’s realizing that it’s ok to celebrate those success’ as insignificant as they may seem!

And most of those were not great epiphanies in the night.  They weren’t me overcoming fear, or discouragement in a single moment.  They were reminders, encouragements, and wise words from friends.  They were seeking scripture and reading Truth.

Last night I was finally able to go back to the red light district to work with the kids for the first time in almost a week.  As I sat across from a little 6 year old girl and taught her English I saw her face light up.  As we began learning animals, I watched her laugh as she imitated the animal sounds.  As we fashioned letters and small animals out of clay she began to play.  For a moment she was able to be a kid.  She wasn’t selling roses in the streets of the red light district for an hour.  She was being 6 years old.  When it was time to go she thanked us, and as they walked down the street she turned back looking at us with a smile and waved.

Being with those kids, I’m able to get out of my head and trust in God.  Because there’s no logical reason that I am making a difference in these kids lives.  I feel totally inadequate.  Completely inept. I was reminded this week that it’s ok to feel like that — because it’s NOT about me.  I’m going to be reminding myself of that a lot in the coming weeks and months.  

This past week I read a verse 2 Corinthians 3:5-6 “Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think any thing as of ourselves; but our sufficiency is of God; Who hath made us able ministers of the new testament; not of the letter, but of the spirit: for the letter killeth, but the spirit giveth life.”

When you look at the context of this verse the word sufficient means having the ability or competency to do a thing.  Able means to make sufficient or to equip with adequacy. Ministers are servants, people who follow the orders of another.  

So this verse is telling us that we do not have the ability of competency to do things ourselves, but our ability and competency comes from God.  God has made us sufficient and adequate to serve others and follow His orders.

This means if I am being obedient to Him that my adequacy, and ability to reach out and show His love comes straight from Him.  I can’t do it in my own will. That kind of takes all of the pressure off.  All I have to do is listen.

I realized this morning that things are going to be hard.  This is going to be an uphill battle to be obedient, at least in this season. But God has asked me to follow through with the simplest task I've ever had.   And that simplicity has somehow made it difficult.  The only thing that God is asking me to do is show His love to these kids.  That's it. Allowing them to experience the characteristics of His nature that they have never experienced before.  The characteristics that He's pointed out to me are loyalty, trustworthiness, and consistency.  And I'm not willing to be a person who proves to these kids that they can not trust, that they will always face broken loyalty, or that they will never have consistency in their little lives.   If He's calling me to display this to them I must be willing to be obedient.  To operate solely in His power, and not in my own strength.

When I posted my Facebook status yesterday and said, “...I wonder what I will learn today.”  I didn’t think that it was going to be quite this deep.

“Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again — rejoice!”  Philippians 4:4

The Only Thing Predictable is that it's Unpredictable

Hello everyone!

This week I was able to start working - and I just jumped right in. Sunday night a World Race team arrived.  35 people were on the squad that came in, and they were split into teams to work in different areas of Lighthouse in Action. I don't know a lot about World Race, but if you're interested in finding out more you can check out their website here: www.theworldrace.org I have a group of 7 living with me that will focus on working with Love Acts in the red light district, and with kids in the slums.  

The core purpose of Love Acts - showing the love of Jesus through actions.

Working with the team, getting them moved into my house, and figuring out what my ministry times were going to look like - along with language lessons, and graphic design work in the afternoons created a busy week for me.  Tuesday I celebrated my 26th birthday in Thailand.  Complete with coffee, Thai lessons, dinner with new friends, FaceTiming with friends from home, and a birthday cake.  It was a good day :) 

Wednesday night I was able to go out with Bethsaida again to the red-light district to work with the kids.  When we meet with the kids we pick a spot that has decent lighting in front of a store, or business that's closed for the night.  When we arrived on Wednesday we found that in the spot we had chosen the week before a new bar had opened up, and there was no place for us to meet with the kids.  As we walked down the street, we found a new spot, and we sat and waited. After half an hour of sitting, no kids had come down the street. Eventually we looked up and saw one of the boys we had spent time with last week walking down the street.  He came running over and sat with us for a few minutes, excitedly asking if it was time for gifts yet because he wanted shoes.  Looking down, he walks the streets with bare feet every night.  We explained we would have them in three weeks, and he smiled and wanted to learn more letters and animals in English.


Wednesday night that one little boy is the only kid we saw. As we were walking back to our bikes Bethsaida looked over and said, "The only thing that's predictable about this work, is that it's unpredictable." And I was starting to understand what she meant by that.

Thursday night we were back out in the red-light waiting for more kids.  This time it was almost an hour that went by until we saw one little girl come around the corner with her mom.  She came running over and sat with us, excited to learn.  As I taught her the alphabet, Bethsaida began talk to the girls mom.  After they left it was almost 11pm.  Bethsaida had found out that the boys she had connected with, whom we hadn't seen, had been moved to sell flowers in a different area, but she wasn't sure where.  We decided to try and go find the boys to reconnect with them.  We searched for quite awhile, but weren't able to find them last night.

So this is what my ministry is looking like at the moment. It's not looking for spectacular things.  It's allowing the love of Jesus to shine into a kids life - even if it's just one kid when I go out.  It's still worth it.  As I prepare to go out tonight - thankful that my cold is on the mend, and that it's not raining - I can only pray that God brings the kids that need it the most today.  And maybe even leads me to find the boys that have been moved.  

Consistent, Loyal, Trustworthy.

I have now settled into my house, and began getting into a routine.  It is starting to become real that Thailand will be home for awhile.

Last Monday I moved into my house.  I live in a small neighborhood about a 15 min drive from the red light where i will be working with the street kids, and about a 20 min drive from Wongen Cafe, which is my office in the afternoons :)

For the last week I have been living in the house by myself. It has 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, a living room, dining room, and kitchen.  In 2 weeks my friend Lindsey will be moving to Thailand for the year, and will be my roommate. The two extra rooms will be used to host short term teams that come through to work with Lighthouse in Action.

My cute little house in Chiang Mai :)

A look down my street on my walk home.

My little work corner.  Makes me feel right at home :)

Tomorrow afternoon a team of 7 people from World Race will be coming to stay with me for the month. Each of them will be helping me work with the kids ministry during their time here. I'm so excited that there will be other people living with me from now on :)

Last Thursday was my first chance to work with the street kids in the red light. I am so excited for the work I will be doing here. One of the girls who had been working in the red light the past year, Bethsaida, will be transitioning out of the kids ministry as she prepares to move back home, and I will be transitioning in.  For the first few weeks I'm here she will be working in the red light with me and introducing me to the kids. God showed her the need in the red light for these kids.  She went in not knowing any Thai, by herself, and just began loving on them. The kids work every night in the red light selling roses. It's forced labor. They have to work on the streets every night until early hours of the morning sometimes with no shoes, and inadequate clothes.  She brought games, books, and candy so the kids could come rest, and play when they got a break. She began teaching them English - and simply building relationships and loving on them.

The ministry is so simple, but so vital. To be the consistent, loyal, trustworthy love of Jesus in these kids chaotic lives.

 He has THE sweetest heart. I loved hanging out with him!

These two boys loved playing!

She is SO smart! She loves learning English! 

Last Christmas Bethsaida bought clothes and shoes for all the kids she met. This opened up a huge door in these kids lives. She took the opportunity to meet a need in these kids lives and practically show them love. She called this act Project Warmth. December-February can be quite cold at night so providing the kids with warm clothes and shoes broke down a lot of walls.

So this year we are doing the same thing. December 3 we will be handing gifts out to all of the kids.  Even though it's for Christmas, this is when it gets cold. There's no point in them waiting to be warm. We are wanting to raise money to sponsor 25 kids to get them warm clothes and new shoes.  This will cost approximately $25 per child.

If you're interested in donating to Project Warmth, you can click here.  All donations will go directly to purchasing shoes and clothes for the kids. I will be posting pictures and videos of project warmth as they become available. If you have any questions feel free to email me at kristenwilkes.design@gmail.com

So that is my focus as the moment - along with learning Thai :) I love what I'm doing here and I'm really excited for you all to have a chance to connect with these kids and the work that God is doing as I build relationships here.

For now, it is time for me to go and pick up my bike that I will be renting for the month so I don't have to walk everywhere anymore. Thank you Jesus :)

Settling In

Day 5 here in Thailand, and I'm starting to feel like I could be processing the fact that I'm living here.  Yesterday I was able to meet some of the people that I will be working with, and get an idea of what life will be like here in Thailand. 

In the afternoon I went up to Wongen Cafe, which is run by Lighthouse in Action.  It is a coffee shop/cafe selling espresso drinks, smoothies, meals, and desserts.  I sat and was able to meet some of whom I will be working with as well as go through orientation over Thai culture, and the different areas of Lighthouse in Action.

I learned that... I have a lot to learn.

My main focus at the moment is going to be learning the Thai language.  I will be having Thai lessons one on one 3 days a week, 2 hours a day.  This will give me the ability, obviously, to communicate more effectively with Thai people, but also give me more freedom in living here.  At the moment it is difficult to communicate or know what anything is when I'm out on my own.  Most Thai people know basic english, but it's really difficult to function in society with no ability to speak past basic numbers and greetings.

Aside from my 6 hours of one on one Thai lessons through out the week, I will be focusing my days on working in Wongen.  I won't necessarily be making coffee or serving food (although my years of restaurant/Starbucks experience have prepared me to help in those areas if needed...) but I will have the chance to be around Thai people, practice my language skills, and listening and learning while I'm there.  

One of the amazing things I learned yesterday was that one of the big needs right now is a graphic designer.  Just so happens that I graduated with a degree in graphic design last year :)  So while I'm working at the cafe I can spend time working on graphic design projects for Lighthouse in Action.  Promotional Materials, branding of Wongen, as well as some photography for the website. It's so great to know that the years of hard work that I put in, in school will be put to great use :)

Aside from my days of helping out with design and learning Thai, my focus within Lighthouse in Action will be working with kids.  I will have the opportunity to work in the slums a couple of nights a week with kids there.  I will be partnering with Compassion International who sponsors kids in these slums.  Building relationships with the kids and reaching out to them.  

I will also have the chance to reach out the street kids in the Red Light district. The street kids don't have much.  There are no sponsorships for them, and they work into early morning hours every night on the streets of the red light district selling roses.  These kids are owned by street parents who don't allow them to return home until they've sold their roses. I will be working alongside one of the girls who has built relationships and trust with these kids to start out.  My goal - simply to show them the love of God.  My nights may look like sitting in one area for the night and allowing the kids to come over when they have a break to play a game, or get some food.  To have the opportunity to pray over them.  For them to see some consistency and love in a chaotic existence. 

Right before I left home I was sitting with a friend of mine and I was saying that I was afraid I wouldn't be able to reach the Thai kids because I couldn't speak their language.  My friend has two boys who are 5 and 3, and I spent a lot of time with their family in the months before I left. She reminded me that her boys love me - and most of the time I'm just laughing with them.  There aren't in depth conversations, or a lot of spoken communication. I started to pay attention to my interactions with them in the last few days I was home.  The day before I left I spent a good portion of my morning playing with her three year old.  We didn't talk at all, we jumped over lines in the floor, and laughed.  I love that God has created me to work most effectively not in the business realm, not in a 9-5 atmosphere... He created me to play.  To hang out with kids and show them the love of Jesus by laughing with them, or smiling at them, or playing with them.  That I can do.  I'm actually good at it.

Aside from learning what my days will look like here, I was also able to move into my house yesterday.  I will be living here with my friend Lindsey, when she arrives at the end of November.  We will also host teams that come through to work with Lighthouse in Action short term.  The first team will be arriving in 5 days.  It is a World Race team of 35 people, who will be working in several different areas of Lighthouse in Action.  The 7 people who will focus on working with kids will be living at my house with me, and going into the slums and to work with street kids.

I honestly have no idea what to expect since I haven't even been into the slums, or to meet the street kids yet.  I think I'm just going to have to jump in, and figure it out as I go.

Now that I am all unpacked, 8 days after leaving home,  I am starting to feel more settled.  I'm just looking forward to feeling like I know what I'm doing :)  I may not have a set routine, but now that I've heard what I'll be doing - I am excited to experience it.  To live it. For it to be my life here.

I have so much to learn. So much.  But I'm here, and I'm diving in.  And it's good.

My First Thailand Experiences

It's my third day here in Thailand.  Yesterday was my first real day going out and seeing the country, and the culture.  When I woke up in the morning and got ready for the day, I went to the outdoor sitting area and made myself some coffee while I read through the book of 2 Corinthians.  

This is the outdoor sitting area at the guesthouse I'm staying at for the weekend.

Feeling encouraged after spending some time in the Word I tried to muster up the courage to go out and find some food. At this point I had been in Thailand for a day, but because I slept for 17 hours I had seen nothing, still had no idea where I was, and I had very little food and water left with me. I made sure I had everything I needed in my bag and trekked out into the streets of Chiang Mai in search of food.

I managed to find a store and get some carrots and plenty of water, and then stopped at a street vendor to get some lunch.  Some chicken wings, they were actually really good! And not as creepy looking in person as they appear to be in this photo...

First street vendor food... And it did not make me sick. Only tasted delicious.

After lunch the two girls who had come to let me in the day I arrived came over to check on me.  Their names are Lisa and Caroline, and they are both from Washington DC.  They came to work in Thailand for the next couple of months, and it looks like I'll have the chance to work with them while I'm here.  We went and got shrimp Pad Thai for lunch, and then went to the mall to pick up a few things we needed.  I was able to get a phone so I'm able to communicate with the people I'm working with in Thailand, and that also makes it much less scary to be walking around trying to find things in Chiang Mai, because I know if I get lost I can call someone for help.  

I came back home to rest before going to dinner with Bethsaida.  Her and I had emailed a couple of times while I was still in Michigan.  She is from New York, and has been the director of the LoveActs ministry with Lighthouse in Action for the past year. She recently stepped down, and will be getting ready to move out of Thailand soon - but it was great to get some insight from her and talk through how the ministry has been running recently.  

We actually went to a Mexican Karaoke Bar in Thailand.

You didn't see that coming did you.

So while you were all eating breakfast Saturday morning, I was eating chicken enchiladas, and singing Karaoke with new friends :)

When I got back home last night, I realized I had survived my first real day in Thailand.  Even though I'm still living in this big house by myself - I don't have any anxiety about going to get lunch from the street vendors today.  I feel like I know my way around a bit.  I'm REALLY excited for all of the staff to get back so that I can be around people, but... this is going to be good.

I decided to take the day today to just relax here at the guesthouse.  No big excursions, or adventures. I'm going to walk up and get some lunch, and then spend my day reading, napping, and enjoying some down time before the staff get back and I start working.  This week I will start Thai lessons, I'll be going into the red light district to meet the kids I'll be working with, and the women, and I'll start to get an idea of what my routine will be here.

Thank you all SO much for your prayers, your support, and your encouragement! This is definitely the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, but I'm really excited to see how it's going to be used!

Later today I will have another video posted on my youtube.  Click Here if you're interested in checking it out!

And this is me in the Shanghai airport after I got my passport stamped in China. After that long 14 hour flight...

What Day is it Again?

I'm here! I made it... I'm in Thailand! And not just in Thailand, but I actually made it to the Lighthouse in Action base :) I arrived in Chiang Mai almost 24 hours ago.  The latter part of my journey was quite stressful.  I was tired emotionally, mentally, and physically. 

I was supposed to be picked up in Bangkok and have a place to stay for 12 hours so that I could rest, and get some sleep before coming to Chiang Mai, but no one picked me up.  My flight had landed in Bangkok at midnight - so I stayed in the airport. When the ticket windows opened at 5am I paid a small fee to have my flight moved up.  Instead of leaving at 5pm I would be able to leave an noon and go on standby for two earlier flights at 8am and 10am - but both of those flights were full.

When I realized that they had forgotten to pick me up in Bangkok my exhaustion and emotions took over.  I had just traveled for 26 straight hours not sleeping for more than an hour at a time on the plane. I tried calling the place I was supposed to say and got a hold of someone, but when they tried to give me directions that were in Thai I didn't understand, and I didn't want to get lost in Bangkok at  midnight by myself.  So I sat in the airport, and I cried.  How was I going to do this if I couldn't even figure out how to get to where I was staying from the airport? How am I going to LIVE here.  I wasn't able to rationalize much at that point.

It was midnight in Bangkok but only 11am at home.  My friends started to text me on the ipad - slight side note... how amazing is technology that with my ipad I can text my best friends on their iphones at home and have a real time conversation whenever I was for free. And it's convenient.  Amazing... - Anyway.  My friends spoke such truth and perspective to me.  I calmed down, and they made me laugh a lot. And I told Jen that I really wanted eggs for breakfast...

By the time I changed my ticket and talked with them for awhile  I only had a couple of hours to wait and see if I got on the standby flight. As I sat across from the check-in counter a woman came and asked if she could sit next to me.  I could tell by her accent that she was from North America.  She was older, and had a hiking backpack on.  I asked if she was coming in to Thailand, or flying out - and we had a great conversation.  

Her name was Jan.  She was from Arizona and she was meeting up with her friend so they could go hiking in Nepal.  She said since her kids were grown she had to figure out where she belonged in her next season.  She missed traveling, so she's traveling. I loved it! She encouraged me in what I was doing.  She told me that Eleanor Roosevelt had said, "Do something that scares you everyday." I assured her I had completed that task for the day. As it came time for me to check on my flight she hugged me and wished me luck, and told me not to believe myself when I said I was scared.  If I was really scared, I would have never come.

I went up to the ticket counter and they had one seat left of the flight to Chiang Mai at 8am. And guess who got it.

This girl.

I had to sprint to my gate, but I made the flight and guess what they served for breakfast on the one hour flight? Egg sandwiches! With fresh fruit and the most delicious yogurt... it was awesome.

I got into Chiang Mai and called Emmi.  Someone picked me up at the airport and dropped me off at the Lighthouse in Action Guesthouse.  The girls who were supposed to let me in had just got up to 7-Eleven.  The taxi driver and girl who picked me up told me not to worry, just to wait.  And they left.

So there i was in Thailand by myself.  My luggage sitting in the dirt outside of a locked gate. I don't speak the language, I don't have a phone, and I had no idea where I was.  Talk about living in Faith.  All I could do was pray that Jesus had a plan n this.

A few minutes later two girls came to let me in.  They were really nice.  They showed me where my room was and made sure I didn't have any questions.  They said they had to leave, but would be back to following night.  All of the Lighthouse team had gone on retreat for the weekend.  So here I sit in this big building with 9 bedrooms, two sitting areas, and an outdoor kitchen all by myself.

God is forcing me to sit and rest in Him.  For Him to show me that He is enough.  I don't need other people around me.  It's great when they're there - and I TOTALLY appreciate the people in my life.

But He is enough.

I can do nothing without Him here.  There's really no reason for me to be in Thailand unless I am going to rely on Him completely.  For everything. All day.  

So I slept for 17 hours last night.  I'm over jet lag.  I have no idea what day it is.  In my head it feels like it should be Thursday.  But it's Saturday morning.  It feels like it's afternoon. but it's only 9:30am.  I'll catch on.  

But for now. I am just trusting in Him.

Taking it In

My flight from Shanghai, China to Bangkok, Thailand arrived on time at midnight.  I went through customs and immigration, picked up my bags and walked out to arrivals looking for a little sign with my name on it.  I had arranged for a place to stay so that I could sleep after 25 straight hours of travel.  

As I walked up and down the aisle looking for my name I wasn't seeing anything.  I walked back and forth, back and forth - sure that I had missed it.  After an hour and a half of walking back and forth I finally came to the realization they had forgotten to come pick me up.  And I still had 16 hours until my flight to Chiang Mai.  I called the number I was given if I had any problems and was told that I could take a taxi to where I was going but it would only bring me close not all the way there, and I couldn't understand the rest of the directions in Thai.  I ran out of change for the pay phone, sat down in a corner and started to cry.

I was exhausted.  In that moment I felt completely inept.  Like there was no way I was going to be able to do this.  I couldn't even figure out how to get to a place to sleep.

I talked with a few friends and they spoke words of encouragement, and made me laugh.  I have to say - I have never been so grateful for technology.  FaceTime is saving my sanity at this point.  

But as I sat I realized it was simple.  I know the address of where I'm going in Chiang Mai - all I need to do is move up my flight.  So I did.  I'm on standby for an 8am flight and really hoping I make it on - but regardless I will be in Chiang Mai no longer than 8 hours from now.  It's the final stretch.  The last leg.

I can do this.

Pacific Thoughts

Day 2 of travel and I am on my third flight.  I left Michigan 40 hours ago, and I am currently half way to China over the Pacific Ocean.  I spent a day with some friends in LA before leaving this afternoon for my long stretch of travel. A 14 hour flight from LA to Shanghai, China followed by a 4 hour flight to Bangkok, Thailand a long layover, and then a one hour flight up to Chiang Mai.  Although it has been close to 2 days since I left, I still have 33 hours before my plane lands in Chiang Mai.

I am following a clear calling to Thailand.  I know that I am in the right place.  I know that He has called me into international missions - but if I'm honest, this isn't easy.  Yesterday I began to get really nervous about moving so far away.  My nervousness turned into being scared to leave. I woke up early this morning at my friends apartment in Costa Mesa, CA in a panic stricken fear that I was leaving.  I realized that really, I'm not sure what I'm walking into.  I had 3 hours left in the United States.  I could potentially be taking my last hot shower.  The next time that I got into a vehicle it was most likely going to be a little tuk-tuk driving down the left side of the road.  I was scared that it was going to be too different, that I wasn't ready.  

I called a good friend and she spoke Truth to me.  Reminding me that Jesus asks us to take our thoughts captive and be obedient to Him.  I needed to focus on what He was asking, and His character and who He was - not what seemed scary.

Have you ever taken a day to REALLY take your thoughts captive.  Have you ever taken the time to think about what that means ? What are you thinking about? Does it line up with Gods character? I was intentional about doing that today! and do you know what the result was?  I have peace.  I wasn't scared anymore.  I'm not going to lie, I did - even after taking my thoughts captive - have a moment of panic when I realized that it was time for my flight to board and there was no plane.  I was at the wrong gate.  But. It lasted a moment, and when I got to the right gate and boarded my plane, I let it go.

Although...

I think that was valid.

So as I make my way across the Pacific and drink green tea as I'm writing to you I am listening to the words of a song from the band 'Enter the  Worship Circle'  ( and listening to everyone around me speak Cantonese...) which say:

You will turn your ear to me

You will hear my cry for mercy

You will loosen things unseen

What can man do to me

You will be my help in trouble

You will be my place of refuge

You will cut these bindings free

What can man do to me 

I am encouraged by this song that there is nothing that man can do, nothing that I can come up against here on earth that is going to stop God from reaching out and helping.  He always hears me.  Always. So I am going to hold onto that as I go through customs in China so that I can pick up my luggage and transfer airlines before heading to Thailand.  Praying that I am able to find where to go on my own in China and not miss my flight.  Hopefully the next time we talk will be from Thailand ;) 

What Makes it Worth It

Although I am already on my second flight of the day - it seems completely surreal that I am actually moving.  That I am actually following through with something that I have dreamed of for so long. There were so many days, months... Years - long years - where I thought that I would never get to do this. That I would never have the chance to travel again. That I never thought that I would have the chance to reach the nations for Jesus again.  I don't know why he's allowing me to live a life that is so full of adventure.  I don't understand why He's called me to a life that is so different.   Different in that I am constantly out of my comfort zone.  Different In that I am being asked to go to a place that is so outside of my ordinary. So far past the bounds of what I feel capable of.

But somehow I'm here.  I'm sitting on a plane making my way thousands of miles across the world so that He can speak through me and use me, and reach people.  I feel like if I get to Thailand and manage to settle into the culture and people's lives begin to change - there is no bigger testament of Jesus than that.  Even being physically healed seems easier to believe than to think that me moving to Thailand could change anything.  I have nothing substantial to offer.  I haven't been trained to do this.  I havent spent my life preparing emotionally or mentally for walking through the things that I am going to see.  

A couple of weeks ago I was talking to a friend of mine and he asked if I was ready to encounter the human suffering that I was going to see daily as I worked in the red light district.

My answer was really simple.  No.  I'm not ready.  I'm never going to be ready to encounter the types of things that I am going to see there.  It's inhumane.  It's heart wrenching.  It's not going to settle well, or be ok.

But even though I'm not ready for it - I do know that God has a plan.  And it's good.  So I am going to listen.  Intently, everyday.  Because I know that He is going to tell me who I need to talk to. If I'm listening to where He wants me to go to, and who He wants me to talk to - I'm going to be prepared for that one person, the next conversation.  For that one situation I'm going to come up against next.  

When I think through what I'm doing in a human capacity it is to scary to fathom.  In the past week I have had to part with a lot of people in my life.  I have had to hug kids whom I have spent the last year and a half laughing with, and tell them it's going to be ok and I'll see them again as they cried. In the last 12 hours I had to stand in front of 3 of my best friends and say goodbye.  As each of us said, "This is good.  This is Gods will," I think all of us reassuring each other, as well as ourselves with the statement. It's making me cry now thinking about it, but not just because I'm sad.  I am sad - but also so grateful.  I am leaving Michigan to embark on the greatest adventure of my life - but I had to leave behind the best thing that I've ever had. It's such a stark contrast of emotion.  So bittersweet.

The only thing that makes it worth it is knowing that I'm being obedient to a God who is so loving, and so powerful, and loves me more perfectly than any human in my life - and He's with me every step of the way.